tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74258548608750057852024-02-08T12:32:32.988-08:00Fahnestock OnlineToddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-61127830581510413362017-02-05T09:36:00.001-08:002017-02-05T09:36:29.983-08:00Superstars Writing Seminars 2017<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Chris Mandeville (and
many others on the Superstars Writing Seminars facebook group) said I’d feel a
part of a tribe if I attended the #SuperstarsWritingSeminars (#SSWS2017). I was
skeptical, but everything they promised and more happened during these past
four days. I left Saturday afternoon with a larger heart, full of inspiration
and dazzling memories I get to keep forever. Thank you, thank you, thank you to
all of the founders, faculty, instructors, panelists and those hardworking
souls behind-the-scenes who made this extraordinary event possible. I
especially want to thank all of my fellow writers with whom I connected, reading
1<sup>st</sup> pages on Wednesday, playing cards on game night, swapping
fledgling chapters in the lobby, stealing time in the hallway to blend our
writer’s lives. James signs his books “Remember magic is <u>real</u>…and worth
looking for!” Well, if you’re looking for magic, you can find it right here at
SSWS.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">For those of you who
lunched with me, talked with me, stole time with me, you know I collect quotes.
In parting, I would like to share the memorable moments that struck me during
SSWS. Some are straight-up words to live by. One will be marked anonymous to
protect the innocent (devilish) soul who made me laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"I'm
a big fan of trusting my instincts." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Jim
Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"What
I'm giving you here is the ingredients to make a loaf of bread. Once you have
that, it's up to you to decide what kind of bread you want to make." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Jim
Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“When
you're writing, keep writing. Tear into it. Go forward. Finish it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Jody
Lynn Nye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“A
prologue is like a heart transplant. You should never have one unless you
really really really need it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">-Jody
Lynn Nye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"The best marketing you can have is writing the best
book you can write."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Jim Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Be nice to your fans. It's the right thing to do, but
it also makes money."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Jim Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Know your market. Don't submit something that isn't appropriate
(for your chosen publishing house)."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Claire Eddy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Make sure your manuscript is REALLY ready for an agent
or editor to see."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Kristin Nelson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"The things that are inconsistent about your (writing)
voice get hammered out over time as you write."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Facebook. It's the app where you go to be disappointed
in humanity."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Jim Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"When you're posting, don't be trying to sell your book.
What you should be doing is making yourself interesting."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Kevin J. Anderson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"With your closest fans, you shouldn't be selling to
them, you should be giving to them."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Mark Lefebvre<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"The people who really love your work are, generally
speaking, people you would get along with."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Jim Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Your books are your product. Your brand is you."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Alexi Vandenberg<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"You are performers. Your customers are your
audience."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“For your fans, their interaction with you may be the only
interaction they ever have. The impression you make could be the only
impression you ever get to make with them. Make sure it's a positive one.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-(Paraphrased from James A. Owen)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"You might be having a bad day. But you're on stage. You
don't get to have a bad day."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Kevin J. Anderson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"I am a merchant prince in training to become a
philosopher king."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“(Building your brand) is all an act. It is not a false act,
but it is a performance."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Alexi Vandenberg<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"I would just like to point out that: No one is boring.
No matter how boring you think you are, you have an interest that will engage
someone else."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Alexi Vandenberg<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"On the traditional publishing side, discoverability is
about getting those librarians and booksellers on your side."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Kristin Nelson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"The defining characteristic of a fan is enthusiasm.
Focus on the fans. The fans will get you new readers."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Jim Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"You build your audience one person at a time. Sometimes
you're not there for that building; it's just your written word. But when you
are, make the most of it. Invest your attention in people."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Jim Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Do special things for your uber-fans."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Kristin Nelson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"When I reject a manuscript but I can see there
potential in the author, I ask: What else do you have? That response is miles
down the road from a straight rejection. Always have that 'what else'
ready."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Lisa Mangum<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"The last thing you want is to invite someone who is
toxic into your business."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Claire Eddy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"What editors are looking for are authors who can teach
us how to sell their book to everybody else."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Lisa Mangum<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">(In response to the question: What
are the top 3 tips for writers to succeed?) </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“First, write It. Second,
write it. Third, write it. Persistence is what will really pay off."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Todd McCaffrey<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"A great movie is never done, it's just abandoned."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Hollywood aphorism<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Any force that brings the reader and writer together is
going to succeed. The future of publishing will be more collaborative."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Mark Lefebvre<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"I define success by the next summit ahead of me."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Kevin J. Anderson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"If you're not actively developing your platform, you
are shrinking your platform."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-David Farland<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Keep making the right choices, even if everyone else
thinks you're a little nuts."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“When you really know what you need to do, and people see
that in your eyes, they will find ways to help you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"Never sacrifice what you want the most for what you
want the most at that moment."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"The hardest part is saying no to the deal that doesn't
take your career where you want to go."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"When you do what you believe in, the Universe opens
itself up to you and shows you what is possible."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">"I don't pay attention trends. I take on books that I love, and I
hope that other people will love them, too."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">-Kristin Nelson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">"Whatever the trends are right now, this is still a long game.
Think of your career in those terms."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"It's not enough to succeed, you also have to make sure
your best friend fails."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Hollywood Aphorism (via Jim Butcher)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"At the end of the day, you're the one signing the
contracted, so you better read it."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Jim Butcher<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">"Half of what binds us is our ability to tease Kev."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-James A. Owen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"If you can't talk politics, you might as well talk
porn."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-(you know who you are)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 14.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">"The man with the sign says we're done. So we're all
done."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">-Lisa Mangum</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-85872536689479545462017-01-11T07:31:00.001-08:002017-01-11T07:31:45.839-08:00Time CapsuleThis is the first day of my post-Follow Your Heart Day road trip. I visited The Colorado College and met up with my friend Megan. We ate at Wooglins Deli. A sandwich there is $7. Colorado College tuition has gone up 500% in twenty-two years, but the price of a sandwich is about the same. We wandered the campus and saw the destruction of the recent winds, giant trees knocked over, trunks snapped in half or roots pulled out of the ground. We stopped at what was once Benjamin’s (they don’t sell food at all hours now; it’s more like a cafeteria than a café), looked around Worner Center, went down to the soccer/lacrosse field, Cutler Hall and finally stopped at Shove Chapel, where at least four of our CC Clan group were married, including Megan and her husband Langdon. When we walked in, there was a young man playing the piano, and he was amazing. The music was transcendent. Not only was his playing pure, passionate and, from what I could tell, flawless, but he played everything from Mozart to jazz with no sheet music. We sat and listened to him for thirty minutes as he went from song to song. After we left him, still playing, we talked with one of the Shove staff, and she said he’d been playing for hours already. It amazed me that he was so lost in his music that he could go on and on like that, and that he could keep all of that gorgeous music in his head.<br />
<br />
Megan and I reminisced about the days when the Clan would sneak into the catacombs under Shove and hold “Mostly Dead Poets Society” meetings. We sometimes called ourselves the “Stunned Poets Society,” unable to choose which homage we wanted to tack onto the Dead Poets Society movie: The Princess Bride (“He’s only MOSTLY dead”) or Monty Python (“He’s STUNNED. You stunned him!”). We would gather with candles and read poetry to each other, some classics, some original pieces. We wrote notes to future generations of catacomb crawlers in soot on the ceiling of those subterranean concrete rooms. What an amazing, special thing. It is like our own time capsule. The Mostly Dead Poets Society was only one of many remarkable things the CC Clan did, but unlike all the rest, it is immortalized. Somewhere, down there, our markings are waiting and probably won’t disappear until they raze Shove to the ground.<br />
<br />
I remembered feeling sure of myself back then, like I knew exactly what was important and that I was going to go get it, even if I didn’t know how. I wanted a whole heck of a lot, but I didn’t expect anything. I actually assumed I’d be dead by age 25, from some crazy-ass stunt or another. I was open to the world, eyes wide and senses alert to each moment because I didn’t have any assumption about what I would get.Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-71060725082584209932016-12-16T05:12:00.002-08:002016-12-16T05:54:19.660-08:00Hope-alyptic<div class="p1">
<div class="p1">
Hope-alyptic. It’s the opposite of apocalyptic, a word I came up with when thinking about <a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/the-wishing-world.html"><span class="s1"><i>The Wishing World</i></span></a><span class="s2">.</span> It means looking at the bright side, searching for the good. These days, hope-alism in short supply. We <i>feel</i> hope because it is still out there, floating about, but then spend our time spitting vitriol –or listening to it– on social media or mainstream media. We talk darkly about the future.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
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Are there are truly more horrible things going on now than in the past? Is our future brighter or darker? I think about the theme of the movie <i>Tomorrowland</i>. The climax reveals that the world is self-destructing because negative images, angry speeches, and a sense of doom is being projected at the Earth, amplified a thousand-fold, intended to escalate conflict in the hopes that the Earth will destroy itself. Writer/director Brad Bird touched on something very real with his theme: the amplification of horror in our modern world. Through media. Through social media. Through, oftentimes, the best of intentions: to identify the culprit and stop them.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
With all of this doomsaying, it seems like things are getting worse, that we’re galloping toward an undefined cliff. But is this truly reality, or just the reality that we’re making, like the self-fulfilling prophecy of <i>Tomorrowland</i>?</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
A video called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwKPFT-RioU"><span class="s1">The Fallen of World War II</span></a> catalogues the deaths (70 million) of the war and points out that more people died fighting in World War II than in all the wars since. In 1989 the span between the end of WWII and the present was called The Long Peace and has continued, relatively speaking, to this day. But this doesn’t make headlines. The narrator said:</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
“We give such importance to the word “peace,” but we don’t tend to notice it when it occurs.”</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
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It’s not that horrible things aren’t happening. They are. But what is the best way to fight them? Does constantly dwelling on the horrors of the world diminish them or empower them?</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Imagination lifts people to create wonders. Goodwill begets goodwill, but media shines the light on the “train wrecks” of our society because that’s what we, as viewers, just can’t turn away from. Stephen Jay Gould’s <i>The Mismeasure of Man</i> notes that what one searches for is what one tends to find. If we look for hate and horror and point it out everywhere, what else do we expect to see?<br />
<br />
I don’t hear anyone talking about The Long Peace. Shouldn’t we? If we want to point ourselves at a bright future, shouldn’t we look at the light?</div>
<div class="p1">
<br />
<br /></div>
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Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-20016229691109890572016-12-07T05:31:00.000-08:002016-12-16T05:20:43.854-08:00A Bag of Roses<div class="p1">
<div class="p1">
<div class="p1">
I have a bag of roses, a cup full of M&Ms, and a dark office. The roses were given to each of the Rose Community Foundation family to wear at Sheila’s funeral today. The M&Ms were Sheila’s favorite candy. The dark office is because she is gone now.</div>
<div class="p1">
<br />
</div>
<div class="p1">
Those who know her best are at the cemetery, lowering her body into the ground. I am here in this office where she lived her dream of helping others, where she gave direction, inspiration and the whole of her being for the last eighteen years. I am here, writing down what Sheila meant to me.</div>
<div class="p1">
<br />
</div>
<div class="p1">
Two years ago at my interview, I came in with a spring in my step. I had a purpose, and I had come to Rose as a part of that. I had been told that as a leader, Sheila was “the real deal,” and after the first minute of talking with her, I knew it was true. She had too many talents to catalogue: her keen mind, her ceaseless curiosity, her drive for excellence, her attention to detail and so many more. But her real magic was how she could make a person feel known and cared for. In that interview, I mentioned my love of science fiction and fantasy, both in books and movies. She mentioned that she had a Star Wars poster from her son’s childhood, and that she thought she still had it lying around her house somewhere, and that she would bring it in for me. With her keen insight, she spotted the parts about me that I liked the most, and let me know that those things were important to her. She had the power to make a person feel relevant, important, empowered.</div>
<div class="p1">
<br />
</div>
<div class="p1">
As I worked with her, I saw her use this magic on Trustees, staff, and community leaders every day. She lived to serve, and her service took the form of enabling others to do good works. She made them feel larger in the exact ways they wanted to feel larger, then set them free to do large things in the world. She has given so much to so many, has stewarded the interests of the community with an open heart and wise counsel, but her greatest gift is in how she made others feel.</div>
<div class="p1">
<br />
</div>
<div class="p1">
You will be missed, Sheila. I don’t know what the Foundation will look like without you, but I know that because of you, I will always think of how I can best serve others. I will think how I can make others comfortable, help them feel inspired about those aspects of themselves that they hold most dear.</div>
<div class="p1">
<br />
</div>
<div class="p1">
I have a bag of roses, an empty cup of M&Ms, and a dark office. Rest in peace, Sheila. Thank you so much. Thank you for everything.</div>
<div class="p1">
<br />
</div>
<div class="p1">
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”</div>
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-Maya Angelou</div>
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Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-63739256241007015782015-10-04T09:29:00.002-07:002015-10-04T09:29:44.976-07:00Granny's Quilting<div class="MsoNormal">
Last night I went to sleep exhausted in a quiet house. This
morning, I awoke to my wife sobbing again. She crawled in next to me and
whispered. “It doesn’t get easier.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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All I could say was, “No. It doesn’t.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lara’s mother, Sharon, died in her sleep on Friday morning.
She was 74. She was hiking on Thursday, out in the Santa Fe nature she dearly
loved. She had been bothered by a headache for weeks. But that was nothing new.
Those of us who knew Sharon knew she had been bothered by headaches off and on
for the last twenty years. It did not indicate anything out-of-the-ordinary. It
did not give us any warning. Sharon went to bed on Thursday night and didn’t
wake up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was young, I was certain of many things. I knew about
living and dying. I knew who I loved and who I didn’t. I knew where I was going
and how I wanted to get there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Now I’m 45, and I know much less than I used to. I thought
that was bad enough, that my experience stripped me of my absolute certainties.
But this morning I’m scared that you cannot count on anything to be certain,
ever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was certain that Sharon, who our children exclusively
called Granny, would be here for Thanksgiving, for Christmas. I was certain she
would be a proud grandparent at my children’s high school and college
graduations. I was sure I would see the beautiful new quilts she made for each
of them, sewn with Granny’s artistry, to usher in the next stages of their
lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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But I’ll never see Granny again. Her majestic quilts marked my
wedding to her daughter, the births of my children, their growth from babies to
young people, and now these are the last quilts we will have from her. She was
making quilted wall hangings for our family that marked the 12 months of the
year, each exquisitely done, each seasonally themed: Halloween in October.
Christmas in December. A sere snow scape for January. We have 10 of the 12. Two
are missing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t help but think of Granny’s
life as those 12 wall hangings, with two more expected that will never come.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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All I can do now is think of the “10 months” of memories we
still have and cling to them. I think of Sharon’s unerring compass of social
justice. She didn’t preach it. She lived it. She took care of people she didn’t
have to because she saw it as her obligation as a human being. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I remember Granny’s “basic diet”, a healthy helping of natural
foods and the basics of the human condition: Arts. Literature. Our connection
to nature. She loved museums, especially out-of-the-way and out-of-doors
museums, curiosities like Tiny Town and the Rocky Mountain Quilt Museum that
showcased the subtle accomplishments of every-day people. She took my children
to these every chance she got. And she took them to nature’s own museums as
well, hiking the trails of Santa Fe, the arroyo behind their house, or white-water
river rafting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Above all, I remember her investment in our children. In the
raising of them, in exposing them to wholesome aspects of life. She longed to
visit them. She sent them packages nearly every week, of newspaper clippings or
the funnies from the paper that she knew Dash loved, post cards from places
they’d been or of scenic moments in Santa Fe. Of all the things I will miss
about Granny, I will miss this the most. I lament that she will no longer be
here to guide my children, to teach them the best things about grandparents:
That they care about you and are interested in your growth. That they want to
expand you with their many years of experience, let you see through eyes that
have lived in a time you did not. Granny loved my children so much. She gave
the very best parts of herself to them in every moment she was with them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Over the past years, I have watched Lara begin her own
quilting. A little bit to start, back when we were first married, then more and
more. And now Lara has begun to make quilts for new babies just as Granny did.
This, and so many other things, are part of Granny Sharon’s legacy, and I hope
that Lara continues to quilt. I know, for my part, I will quilt with Granny in
my own way. I will try to look with her vision when I watch other people, to
carry her care for them in my heart. I will remember that dignity is the right
of every person, and that we have an obligation to help them find that dignity,
especially when it is the most difficult. I intend to stitch that piece into my
own life and the lives of my children for as long as I am here. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-23295068476683466332015-02-27T05:05:00.003-08:002015-02-27T05:12:04.903-08:00Fairmist Reviews #26 through #45<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a></span></div>
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Fairmist Book Launch Day! I'm so giddy I can't stop grinning. And I have a headache (I never get headaches). Is there such thing as a happy headache? That's what I have.<br />
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Holy sheep dip! I am buried under the reviews (what a great feeling!), so I'm going to post every single review I have so far today. A big thank you to all of my advance readers. You all took this story and you ran with it. Wow!<br />
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<b>Mary Ann Littler, Review #26</b></div>
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Loved it, it held my interest and I can’t wait for the sequel!!</div>
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Long live Grei!!</div>
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<b>Brett Spencer, Review #27</b></div>
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I read novels for the immersive world I get to explore. The wondrous strangeness, the thought-provoking nuances, the creatures and places I’d never even find in my dreams. Fairmist unfolds a richly-nuanced world that delights my senses, feeds my daydreams and upends my disbelief. And it does so in such a heartfelt and charming way that I feel right at home amidst the raindrops that hang suspended in midair while flying hares circle above - just your average Faiaday on Clapwood Street in the sacred and seedy town of Fairmist.</div>
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And the story of young Grei who may not know where he’s going, but, by the Faia, he knows what’s right! There is much to be learned from this young man who stands on his convictions in the face of his society’s constant and brutal disapproval, in the face of a secret society bent on determining his destiny and even even in the face of the madness that consumes all who dare to question the Debt of the Blessed. And Grei is just one of the inspiring, dastardly, heart-wrenching characters you’ll come to love in Fairmist.</div>
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This story entranced me and I’m itching to get my hands on the next one to unlock more of its secrets!</div>
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<b>JP Fagan, Review #28</b></div>
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Up front, I will say that fantasy is not my favorite genre of books—there are generally too many strange names that you are never sure you are really pronouncing correctly. It sometimes is difficult to connect with characters that are <i>too</i> strange—you just don’t get them or their motivations. <i>Fairmist</i> has none of that, and, as a result, is very enjoyable to read. It is easy to dive right in and get caught up in the story.</div>
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<i>Fairmist </i>is a world that is unusual, but not incomprehensible. Todd describes this world so colorfully that I could smell the forest floor of the Wet Woods, see the unique stone bridges in the town, feel the dampness in the air during the Harvesthome masquerade balls, and hear the commotion inside <i>The Floating Stone</i>. Every place in the story feels real. Like Middle Earth, I wish that I could go and see the place for myself.</div>
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Much more importantly, however, <i>Fairmist</i> is populated with characters that are so human, and so believable, that you want to discover their stories. I frequently found myself nodding (or shaking) my head, because I was able to understand the characters and what drove them. It was easy to get behind Grei in his quest to seek answers and fix what is wrong, especially when you know right from the prologue just how wrong things truly are. I was able to feel the sorrow in Adora as she veers back and forth between happiness and duty. I could identify with Blevins who has done his duty and now tries to live with the consequences. I even felt sympathy for a villain who does not appear to be so far gone as to be wholly incurable.</div>
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There is only one problem with the book—I want more <i>now </i>and I can’t have it. I will have to be patient and wait for Todd to create the next installment. I eagerly look forward to finding out what happens next.</div>
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<b>Bridget Lovett</b><b>, Review #29</b></div>
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Finally. A novel with female characters that kick-ass while demonstrating grace, intelligence and the power of their sexuality. As they guide a fallible yet truly heroic Grei through the adventures of Fairmist, I couldn't help but be captivated. Todd Fahnestock is one of the best of our time. I cannot wait for the next!</div>
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<b>Bill Moraja</b><b>, Review #30</b></div>
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Fahnestock's first solo work is very good. His writing is crisp and tight. His story-telling is fast-moving and exciting. He creates characters that are deep, compelling and evolving throughout the story as the action unfolds. No character knows who anyone else really is, and some don't even realize who they are or what they can be. The world of The Whisper Prince is fascinating and makes for irresistible reading.</div>
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These reasons alone would be enough to earn Fairmist a high recommendation, but fortunately there is more.</div>
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Fahnestock digs deep into the very best tradition of the speculative fiction genre and asks elemental, human questions: What are we prepared to do to survive? Are we willing to live our lives cowering in fear? Dedicate our entire lives to a desperate cause? Are we willing to sacrifice the lives of others? Are we prepared to sacrifice our own life, or the lives of our own children? These are engaging questions wrapped up tightly in a fast-paced adventure. I enthusiastically give Fairmist a five star recommendation.</div>
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<b>AJ Johnson, Review #31</b></div>
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<i>Fairmist</i>, Book one of <i>The Whisper Prince</i>, is the first book of the fantasy genre that I had read in a long time. I read the prologue and the first several chapters in fits and starts, but by the time I made it into the third or fourth chapter, I was sucked in, and began to find myself carrying it around the house with me, spending a few minutes reading while I brushed my teeth, while waiting in the car line to pick my kids up from school, and staying up much later than I should as the characters and events flew by and through me.</div>
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I love the story elements Fahnestock used to create this world and make it real. A tribute that keeps an uneasy and unpleasant peace in the land. The all-female government special-ops force that holds the society together. An idealistic but slightly ignorant chosen one. A buddhist-like enlightenment that allows one to become a part of every nearby element, experience every emotion and control the physical state of one's surroundings. And the Faia, the fabric that hold together the world of Fairmist.</div>
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Surprise plot twists allow you to open yourself up to whatever may come next, and as the book finally came to a climactic close I felt like I was finishing a harried, exciting and emotional rollercoaster. Like Space Mountain, I'm excited to go on it again, and to see what kind of a ride the author will take us on next.</div>
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<b>Diana Horowitz</b><b>, Review #32</b></div>
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As a reluctant fantasy novel reader (whose last attempt was Mists of Avalon over 20 years ago), I found Fairmist to be a fascinating and compelling world to explore. The complexity yet clarity of characters, concepts and storyline quickly cast their spell over me, and left me wanting more. At one point, I was even moved to tears. By Blevin’s Belly, I’m a Fairmist / Fahnestock Fan!</div>
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<b>Tiffanny Hale</b><b>, Review #33</b></div>
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Classic fantasy characters in a great story – I did not want to put it down!</div>
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Fairmist is a exciting fantasy novel with some great twists and loveable characters. After spending much of his life questioning the barbaric practices that keep everyone “safe”, Grei decides he’s done questioning and he’s going to DO something. Without knowing that he’s the savior of a little known prophecy, he embraces the changes thrusts upon him and manages to outguess those that attempt to manipulate him. He wins loyalty and inspires trust and he has help from some intriguing side characters. This was an excellent story and I found myself thinking of it throughout the day, anxious to get home to read some more. I did not want to put it down!</div>
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<b>Aaron Brown</b><b>, Review #34</b></div>
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Fairmist presents a decadently fabulous world filled with sideways floating houses and sinister, skulking slinks. Fahnestock's details and dialogue crackle with vigor and wit, but what I liked best is that the story goes far deeper than its alluring, mythical surface. Fahnestock's hero Grei is driven to right a deep wrong and has to cut through veils upon veils of illusions to do so. The spirit Grei brings to the task, not to mention the passion from his friends and allies, seem utterly necessary for his world as well as our own. </div>
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<b>Alicia Jiron</b><b>, Review #35</b></div>
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A good book makes you think, and a day after reading Todd Fahnestock’s <i>Fairmist</i>, I am still pondering the parables in this engaging story. The characters are the kind you miss when the story ends, the curve-ball plot causes you to question who is on the right side of good and the fantastical settings become pictures in your mind’s eye. Read this book.</div>
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<b>Amy Fahnestock</b><b>, Review #36</b></div>
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Fairmist is captivating and a must read. From the first word to the last you are constantly yearning for the next page, the next twist in the story. Each chapter takes you on an ever changing adventure that challenges your mind, questions you moral line, and teases your every sense. Fairmist has rich and intricate characters that are woven from many types of characteristics that are intriguing and shocking. Powerful women, noble men, misunderstood villains and spiritual undertones of fantasy, nature and the unknown all wrapped into a story line that is unforgettable. The prolog is the rubber band of a slingshot stretched back to catapult you into a mesmerizing adventure of love, pride, betrayal and moral measurement. You will find a love for each character individually on merit but Blevins is by far my favorite throughout the entire book. His character has such clarity and depth. </div>
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<b>Tish Gonzales</b><b>, Review #37</b></div>
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Fairmist was such a fun and sometimes intense read. It introduced me to a new genre, fantasy novels. I enjoyed the character development and rich imagery. I was pulled into the character’s lives and found myself immersed in their trials. Overall I enjoyed Fairmist very much and look forward to the next installment. Thank you for sharing Todd.</div>
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<b>Chris Connor</b><b>, Review #38</b></div>
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Epic fantasy brings you into its world, immerses you in the characters, draws you into the story and leaves you itching for more. The Whisper Prince is a rich quest filled with deception, romance and destruction. I can't wait for the sequel.</div>
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<b>Bailey Fahnestock</b><b>, Review #39</b></div>
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Todd Fahnestock’s Fairmist pulls you in from the first paragraph and you never want to leave this amazing world he’s created. He makes you so attached to every character that you almost feel their pain, their desires, and their fears as if they were your own. Along the way, you start to wonder whose side you’re on. This story shows us that sacrifices must be made and we do what we must be done to survive but it also raises the question, do we follow our hearts or focus on our duties? It’s so captivating, you’ll be sad after that last chapter is over and you have to leave this world. A truly wonderful read!</div>
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<b>Elliott Davis</b><b>, Review #40</b></div>
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Fairmist is about the courage to do what you must when you harden your resolve but not your heart. And about crisis. Not the grand, mortal and obvious crisis typical of fantasy (slightly conflicted good vs. absolute evil). The people of Fairmist have compelling personal crises. They are real and relatable. Instead of immutable archetypes, whose point of view never so much as twitches from what you would expect, the characters in Fairmist appear to be doing their imperfect, human best as their perspective develops and their situations better or worsen. Or appear to better or worsen before, “<i>Oops, I saw this playing out differently.”</i> This I can relate to. I cherish Tolkien for the sweep of adventure, but as for character, Frodo lives a pass/fail life in which his only doubts are whether he can succeed, not the more humbling, anguishing challenge of trying to figure out what is right, making mistakes, course correcting, etc. that seems to describe my own life. So, while most fantasy gives me the pleasure of escapism, Fairmist gave me conflicts to sink my teeth into and ponder. Instead of “Could I be equally bold/strong/clever?" and "Zowie, I want super-cool magic powers, too!” I thought about “what the heck would I do here? Whom would I trust?”</div>
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And I liked that.</div>
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<b>John Pennington,</b><b> Review #41</b></div>
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Fairmist, first book of a series, is an action packed adventure set in an emotionally rich fantasy world where passion can be as deadly as a blade and actions have unseen consequences. The pace of the book is as tightly choreographed as any Ringblade dance, each part faster than the one before. The Ringblades are part sisterhood, part terror police who train through dance. This reader wanted more scenes involving them and by the end of the book you may feel as though you had been dancing with them - out of breath and already anticipating the next book.</div>
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<b>Peter Fryer</b><b>, Review #42</b></div>
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The world of Fairmist in all of its complexity unfolds with ease through Fahnestock's compelling world building - no easy feat. Taking a step back it becomes apparent how much thought and construction is required to build a simultaneously familiar and foreign world, such as the one in Fairmist. This world is fully inhabited by Fahnestock's characters who are compelling in their motives - whether they be fate or atonement for past misdeeds. The most refreshing aspect of Fairmist is Fahnestock's consistent willingness to have his characters deviate from the choices you would expect of them. On more than one occasion I found myself thinking, "Obviously she won't say anything to him about that" and then three paragraphs later the character would do <i>just</i> the opposite. While it exists firmly in the fantasy genre, these small details make Fairmist stand out. And, lest it go unmentioned, Fahnestock is an artist when it comes to writing action. Sometimes you really want an epic sword fight and some straight up magic. Fahnestock, as always, brings it, creating a novel that clips along with action, but never succumbs to its momentum, allowing time for us to understand both his characters and his fantastic world. Recommended.</div>
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<b>Nick Alonzo</b><b>, Review #43</b></div>
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Fairmist is a great read and it is nearly impossible to put down I look forward to seeing what the future brings for Grei and Adora.</div>
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<b>Liz Imbler</b><b>, Review #44</b></div>
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What a great book! Filled with adventure, deception, and romance, Fairmist transcends the limits of a fantasy novel and leaves the reader wanting more. After only a few chapters, I couldn’t put it down! Fahnestock’s complex characters are constantly evolving and the plot is ripe with excitement. But beyond that, Fairmist is a book to make you think. Intense sacrifice, complicated relationships, and a world that needs saving beg you to question your priorities, and implore you to blend the lines between right and wrong. You can expect a depth from this book that is too often missing in today’s literature. Overall, what a well-written and exciting book! The sequel can’t come soon enough!</div>
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<b>Chris Guymon, Review #45</b></div>
Fahnestock has created a richly textured world that rings true with the human condition despite the fantastical elements that make the setting so intriguing. All the characters are explored fully, and in turn, are not one-dimensional. What was so engaging for me was watching all of the characters struggle with the conflicting aspects of themselves. There are no perfect heroes, heroines, or villains in this story. All in all, an adventure that kept me turning pages and holding my breath--and also kept me continually surprised, right down to the last few words. This is a refreshing novel, and will delight fantasy aficionados and novices alike.<br />
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And those are all the reviews to date! Whew! Okay Fairmist...time to LAUNCH!</div>
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-Todd</div>
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-88956605419156020722015-02-26T05:03:00.000-08:002015-02-26T05:03:55.066-08:00Fairmist Reviews #21, #22, #23, #24, #25<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a></span></div>
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As long as the advance reader reviews keep rolling in, I will keep posting them, all the way through tomorrow's book launch at the <a href="http://thebrewonbroadway.com/hot-liquor-home/">BoB (Brew on Broadway)</a>. If you haven't signed up to go to the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/888208067897625">Fairmist Book Launch</a>, and you would like to, there is still time. Don't miss it!<br />
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<b>Review #21</b><br />
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In the novel #<i>Fairmist, </i>Todd Fahnestock has created a deftly crafted tale which fans of the fantasy genre will find addictively immersive and truly enjoyable. The story’s splendidly realized characters inhabit a world simply cracking with tension and conflict, and the narrative’s interlocking approach to points of view, with chapters focusing on the main players as they try to keep their mental, spiritual, and yes, quite often their physical balance makes for an exciting read. Fahnestock’s most impressive accomplishment in this book is, in my opinion, the seamless and subtle way that the numerous conflicts and tensions driving the plot forward are in play simultaneously, without sacrificing the sheer fun of a good old, fantastical romp. In this first installment of the story the tremors rumbling beneath the surface promise a tantalizing and bumpy road ahead for Grei and company.</div>
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-Marvin Guymon</div>
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<b>Review #22</b><br />
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<i>Fairmist</i> by Todd Fahnestock is a wonderful new take on the fantasy genre. The setting is a magical world where people live surrounded by magic that they don’t understand and can’t practice, a part of everyday life, a legacy left them by a lost race of powerful beings. Where did the Faia go and why did they leave humanity to its fate? What are these slinks that terrorize the Thiaran empire now, and why do they require one child sacrifice every month? Questions lead to answers….which lead to yet more questions. </div>
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Fahnestock has given us a briskly paced story that focuses on the characters without getting bogged down in layers and layers of overly detailed world building or the spinning off of multiple, hard to keep track of, plot-lines. His characters are strong and each enters the story with a well established sense of purpose and self. But is that sense conviction based on the truth, or lies? Is everything really as it seems? </div>
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Interesting characters, original villains, and a story that illustrates the fact that good and evil are not necessarily black and white, but exist with many shades of gray in between. Good people can do evil things: out of fear, or for love, or because of lies. </div>
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Fairmist is a thoroughly enjoyable read. I look forward to the sequel. </div>
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-Andrew Grover</div>
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<b>Review #23</b><br />
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As an avid Fahenstock Fan, I am always excited to read anything with his name attached. This was no exception. #Fairmist leads the reader to question what they are told and the reality which surrounds them. When betrayal and illusions are looming, Adora and Grei cling to love. Their connection is born when they were children who still grasped onto their dissolving innocence, so pure that the reader has no choice but to cling to it as well. Watching the characters grow and evolve while fighting their desires in hopes that their sacrifice will lead to the greater good was my favorite part of this story. This is an amazing tale that wraps up leaving a longing for the novel to continue on.</div>
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-Sara Fisher Poppe</div>
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<b>Review #24</b><br />
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In a crowded genre, #Fairmist carves out its own place amongst the best in our time. With its thrilling plot structure, and complex character development, Fairmist breathes fresh life in the epic fantasy realm. The reader will find themselves captivated by the heroes', as well as the villains', plights throughout the novel. I couldn't tear away from this excellent story<span class="s1">.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">-Steve McDonald</span></div>
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<b>Review #25</b><br />
I haven't read high fantasy on a regular basis for many years, but “Fairmist” took me right back. The Thiaran Empire is a world as well-crafted as Le Guin's Earthsea or Guy Gavriel Kay's Fionavar. But something is rotten in Denmark, and Thiarians must sacrifice their children, the Debt of the Blessed, to keep the mysterious, demonic slinks from resuming their war upon the kingdom and slaughtering the people. It's treason to even talk about the Debt, much less question it, but our hero, Grei, is not the type to just let this injustice stand without question, and is therefore known as a troublemaker to both friends and family. His journey from delinquent to getting caught up in a very old prophecy to save the kingdom kept me up late reading more nights than I care to admit. What are the slinks, and why was there a war with them? Who is Adora, really? Is Blevins just a town drunk who talks too loosely about the Debt when in his cups, or someone more sinister? What is the Whisper Prince, and why is he the last great hope of this empire? I just had to know how it all turned out.<br />
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-Christina Stolberg</div>
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-28718212404805520362015-02-25T18:55:00.004-08:002015-02-25T18:56:11.523-08:00Fairmist Reviews #16, #17, #18, #19, #20<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a></span></div>
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Now I'm just throwing them out as fast as I can. It's so inspiring to see readers getting so much out of the novel! #permanentgiddyfeeling.<br />
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<b>Review #16</b><br />
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This book is fantastic! I was nervous to start reading a series before it was completed (GOT frustration!!), but this book was worth it and more. The characters and storyline draw you in within the first few chapters as you meet each character and I enjoyed every page all the way to the last. The characters are well developed and actually make you care if they live or die. They don’t fit into easy categories of good and evil, but make you question what you think you know at every chapter. I wasn’t left frustrated at the end, but instead am eagerly anticipating book number 2. It was an enjoyable read, with several great twists in the plot. I would recommend this to anyone that’s looking to enjoy a fantastic fantasy story. Once I picked it up I couldn’t put it down!</div>
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-Alyna Douglass</div>
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<b>Review #17</b><br />
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I found the enticing story of #Fairmist weaving through my emotional body as the characters displayed the polarities of goodness and cruelty, compassion and betrayal, discipline and disregard for life itself: how innocence is sacrificed to support a fear-based reality and how the Whisper Prince chose to defy the authorities by following his heart even when he felt unsure and vulnerable.</div>
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Beyond the qualities of courage, clarity, strength, and discipline lies the magic of the Faia, whose sole purpose is to hold the vision of truth and beauty. Without them, all would be lost.</div>
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You will not want to put this adventure of unpredictable outcomes and expanded possibilities down until you finish it.</div>
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-Lynnette Connor</div>
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<b>Review #18</b><br />
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I loved Todd Fahnestock's Fairmist. He quickly encourages the reader to "suspend their disbelieving" and accept the surroundings and characters as normal, allowing us to easily be pulled into the story. Grei and Adora, Kuruk and the Emperor, you love them or hate them....or both. I eagerly look forward to the next two Whisper Prince books. There are a few books that I set aside in my bookcase to be re-read again and again. I believe this series will find it's way to that shelf.</div>
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-Larry Lamson</div>
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<b>Review #19</b><br />
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Fairmist is captivating from beginning to end as Fahnestock creates a realm of intrigue, lore and enchantment that you won't want to put down. The world of Fairmist enfolds before the reader so vividly it's easy to lose oneself into the story of Grei's altruistic mission, and the interweaving characters that accompany him or try to impede his quest. I can't wait for the second book<span class="s1">.</span></div>
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<span class="s1">-Jaclyn McDonald</span></div>
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<b>Review #20</b><br />
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I was completely blown away after reading this book. I was immediately hooked within the first couple pages and I had a hard time putting the book down! Fahnestock’s words paint such a beautiful picture of the scenes and characters and I got completely lost in the world he created. By far the best book that I've read in a long time. It's a must read!</div>
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-Tara Swayze</div>
<br />Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-30402534407723518612015-02-25T05:27:00.003-08:002015-02-25T05:28:49.259-08:00Fairmist Reviews #12, #13, #14, #15<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a></span></div>
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The advance reader reviews keep rolling in for #Fairmist. A big thanks to all of my advance readers!<br />
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<b>Review #12</b><br />
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I loved this book! The story was gripping and extremely well written. The characters were well developed, and there were unexpected twists and turns that made it hard to put down. The story alone was fabulous, but the metaphorical themes about what drives us as human beings were what had the greatest impact on me.</div>
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-Jennifer Atler Fischer</div>
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<b>Review #13</b><br />
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In Fairmist, Todd Fahnestock has created characters and a story where things are not always what they appear to be. The progression of events makes the reader question what they think they know, not just about the story itself, but about basic moral premises like what is good and what is evil. I eagerly awaited and anticipated the revelation of the next twist. I was already a Fahnestock fan, but #Fairmist has elevated my appreciation of his writing and ability to entertain and captivate readers.</div>
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-Jessica Meltzer Bearak</div>
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<b>Review #14</b><br />
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As you enter the world of Fairmist, author Todd Fahnestock reveals it to you layer by seductive layer. You are not thrust into the world, but led gently by thoughtful characters with depth and strength. The alluring bravery, deception, and most of all love, affords readers to get lost in the dangerous swirl that is Fairmist. Give it a read...I assure you, you won't be able to put it down!</div>
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-Jenny Fitts Reynolds</div>
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<b>Review #15</b><br />
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I have been lucky to have known the author, Todd Fahnestock for many years and have enjoyed discussing his ideas for the adventure into Fairmist and now it has come to life! Having read hundreds of books in the fantasy genre, I must say that Todd has entered into this arena with an original and exciting story. His debut of Fairmist is a fast-paced epic fantasy novel that introduces multiple, intriguing characters, a creative story line and some unpredictable twists that will surprise the reader and leave them wanting more. Todd masterfully runs parallel story lines during the book which do not disrupt the flow of his main characters or detract from the plot. He has done very well weaving his supportive characters in and out of the action and leaves the reader anxious to learn their story. I strongly recommend this book to all readers (not only those that primarily have interest in fantasy) and feel that they, as am I, are anxiously awaiting the next journey to Fairmist, or to wherever the adventures of Grei, Adora and Kuruk will take us.</div>
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-Dr. Eric Albright</div>
<br />Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-72212294970741323272015-02-24T05:21:00.003-08:002015-02-26T05:05:30.350-08:00Fairmist Reviews #8, #9, #10 and #11<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a></span></div>
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Three days and counting, and the reviews keep rolling in. I'm so excited to share with everyone what readers are getting out of this magical story. What thrills me the most about writing is the hopes that someone else may experience the book in the same way I do. And it's happening.</div>
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<b>Review #8</b></div>
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The best of Todd Fahnestock's writing shines through in the tightly-written, richly-woven, compelling world of #Fairmist! Fahnestock’s strength lies in creating characters who will make your heart sing in a land you would yearn into existence, and <i>Fairmist</i> is no different. In a few short pages, you will fall in love with a beautifully strong character in an impossible house, only to have your heart deeply wrenched at the injustice of fate. He will create a scene so simple, so pivotal, that – even if its significance slips through your fingers – the whisper of it will be heard in the heartbreak and devotion of two people in need. The novel is riddled with heroes whose battle cries, death keens, and spirited vows ring in your ears long after the book has ended, making you damn happy it’s only the first in a trilogy. Enjoy <i>Fairmist.</i> Revel in it!</div>
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-Sarah McFarland</div>
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<b>Review #9</b></div>
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You won't have to find time to read <i>Fairmist</i>, you will <b>make</b> time to read it. From the first <i>Grei</i> chapter to the last <i>Adora</i> one, you are sucked into a world that you never want to leave. This is unlike any other fantasy novel - with its twists and turns, captivating characters and mind-bending creativity , it is a <b>must</b> read!!</div>
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-Dena Morrissey</div>
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<b>Review #10</b></div>
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In Fairmist, Todd Fahnestock has created a world and a mythology of massive and ambitious scale. The world around you comes to life in lush imagery and vivid detail even as be describes a land filled with ancient magic, epic struggle, passion, prophecy, political conflict, and courtly intrigue as complex as any you will find. He somehow manages to do it without bogging down the story, which jogs along at a relentless pace that will have you up reading well past your bedtime. As remarkable as this is, even more striking to me is his ability to bring to life characters that evoke empathy. His heroes are sidetracked by the petty emotions and urges that make us human. They rebel against the injustice of their destiny even as they are compelled by it to fight the evil in their world. They don’t always do the right thing, even on the occasions when they know what the right thing is. They are flawed and weak and therefore human. Even his villains are conflicted and noble in their own way, and you will struggle with your sympathy for them. This is no cut-and-dried morality play between good and evil. The twists and turns and timely revelations will have you wondering who the good guys really are. Some fantasy authors are good at creating worlds. Some are good at creating characters. To find one who is a master at both is rare indeed. Don’t miss this one!</div>
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-Chris Lamson</div>
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<b>Review #11</b></div>
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Be among the first to discover Todd Fahnestock, one of the best new authors you will find today in any genre. #Fairmist is a wildly entertaining story of an epic battle of good and evil, with many brilliant twists and turns. In Fairmist, you will be immediately drawn into this magical world and become enthralled with some of the strongest and most endearing set of characters you will meet in any book. Readers of all types will be drawn to this powerful story. Fahnestock’s ability to create unique and unforgettable characters is a true gift. Enjoy this wonderful and entertaining ride but be sure to budget some time because once you start, you will not be able to put Fairmist down.</div>
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-Jim Swayze</div>
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-91968841763479581022015-02-23T19:42:00.002-08:002015-02-23T19:43:48.753-08:00Fairmist Reviews #4, #5, #6 and #7<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a></span></div>
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Only four days until the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/888208067897625/?ref_newsfeed_story_type=regular">Fairmist Book Launch</a> at the Brew on Broadway. We have over 100 people coming, and the advance reader reviews keep rolling in. Without further ado, this is what readers are saying about Fairmist:<br />
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<b>Review #4</b></div>
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Todd Fahnestock's #Fairmist depicts a story of magic and passion, of unlikely heroes and tiny forest goddesses, set in a world so richly painted one almost feels the droplets of #Fairmist on one's own face. From the opening scene, Fairmist transports the reader, and Fahnestock's characters come to life in vivid portrayal. The fast-paced story grips the reader and doesn't let go.</div>
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-Megan Foss</div>
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<b>Review #5</b></div>
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#Fairmist is an epic tale of bravery, fortitude, love and deception. The author seamlessly brought to life a mystical world of deadly slinks, seductive ringblades, and beautiful faia, and I could not believe how vividly every scene played out in my mind. The story is full of twists and turns that keep you on your toes, and once you pick it up you will not be able to put it down again. </div>
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-Kathryn Holabird</div>
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<b>Review #6</b></div>
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The imaginative world of #Fairmist draws the reader in from the very first page, from the brutal Debt of the Blessed to the beauty and the imagination of the Lateral Houses. Fairmist does a wonderful job of showing the worst of human nature and the best of human nature. What are the lengths that we will go to in order get what we want? How do we stand up to stop atrocities that are happening around us? Fairmist constantly makes you wonder on which side you have the strength to stand.</div>
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-Tami Miller</div>
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<b>Review #7</b></div>
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I found the female characters in #Fairmist to be the most entertaining to read. The main character, Adora, faces many challenges. Some of these challenges involve fulfilling an ominous prophesy, and managing a headstrong Whisper Prince, a creepy Uncle, and a REALLY bad haircut. It was wonderful to see how this fiery woman handled these tense situations with grace and aplomb.</div>
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I might also add, that once you've started the book you'll be ready to pledge your life to the Ringblades (An all girls club of kick ass warrior women who serve the Emperor, for better or worse.) Two more chapters in and you'll slightly regret your overhasty decision, (limbs may or may not have been devoured, warrior women may or may not have been harmed in the making of this novel.) They may not be on the "good side" of the hero scale but, they can dance like a dream and kick like a mule. </div>
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While the Whisper Prince is bumbling about in the forest trying to save the world and learn how to use his new found powers, the womenfolk are turning the wheels and guiding him towards the light...and I like that, I like that very much.</div>
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-Erin Olson</div>
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-64709272047906351902015-02-18T19:08:00.001-08:002015-02-26T05:06:15.229-08:00Fairmist Advance Reader Reviews #2 and #3The reviews are coming faster now. I can't keep up! So I'm going to start posting them two at a time.<br />
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8 days until the launch. I'm getting excited now!<br />
<br />
<b>Review #2</b><br />
Fairmist is raw, sensual, and fast-paced—it kept my attention the entire time. In Fahnestock’s mystical world of floating mountains, sideways houses, and suspended raindrops, conflicting loyalties force hard decisions, and characters must question things they have always believed. Fairmist is a reminder that asking “why” may not always lead down the easiest path, but those who are unafraid to ask the questions are often the leaders among us. It’s also an examination of fear: are the things we are most afraid of truly the most threatening? Fahnestock shines the light on the fact that good vs. evil is not always crystal clear, and that sometimes, we are our own worst enemies.<br />
-Elizabeth Moser<br />
<br />
<b>Review #3</b><br />
Reading #Fairmist is like going on a fast-paced adventure to magical places with good friends. The story is at turns exciting, poignant, heartrending, breathtaking, funny, and above all fun. I loved sharing difficult decisions with the badass, sexy, smart Adora, rubbing elbows with Blevins at The Floating Stone, dancing with Ree, and growing wise with my impetuous hero, Grei. The quick dialogue, the powerful villains, and the complex plot kept me turning the pages, but it was my relationships with these characters that made this book difficult to put down and impossible to forget.<br />
<div class="p1">
-Chris Mandeville</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
To purchase Fairmist, visit: <a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a></div>
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-662383117690458432015-02-16T19:39:00.000-08:002015-02-18T19:12:17.516-08:00Fairmist Advance Reader Review #1 - Anne Garcia<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This novel is an
adventurous ride through an imaginary place that touches the reader's senses.
This richly woven tale introduces the reader to strong female warriors - each
guided by her own strong sense of duty and perseverance. The hero is mentored by these fascinating
women who manipulate men using their sexuality as well as their intelligence.
It's fascinating to watch the hero mature until he is at last ready to take on
his ultimate challenge which will shape his destiny. There is a lot of violence
and dismemberment throughout the story, but physical hardships only seem to
make the characters more resilient. I
can't wait to read the next volume to see what happens next.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">To order Fairmist, visit <a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
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Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-12672619816757774762015-02-08T05:43:00.003-08:002015-02-08T05:43:38.614-08:00www.toddfahnestock.comSo the Fairmist launch is rocketing along. Pre-orders went live on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fairmist-Whisper-Prince-Book-1-ebook/dp/B00T0GQ64Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1422803032&sr=8-1&keywords=fairmist&pebp=1422803033928&peasin=B00T0GQ64Y">amazon.com</a> and the Launch Party is on Friday, February 27 at <a href="http://thebrewonbroadway.com/hot-liquor-home/">The BoB (Brew on Broadway)</a>.<br />
<br />
Also, be sure to check out my brand new website: <a href="http://www.toddfahnestock.com/">www.toddfahnestock.com</a><br />
<br />
All things about the book will be posted there, including all of the advance reader reviews. The feedback is amazing, and I am giddy about it.Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-48176264497802214172014-11-15T05:53:00.001-08:002014-11-15T06:14:52.314-08:00Give What You Have<div class="MsoNormal">
I had the honor of going to the National Philanthropy Day
luncheon yesterday with most of the staff from Rose Community Foundation. The
people honored are true philanthropists, giving of themselves through sharing
their money, their resources or their time (or all three) with those who are
less fortunate. My boss, Sheila
Bugdanowitz, won the award for Outstanding Professional in Grantmaking, and
though she would avoid the spotlight if she could, she deserved every minute of
it. It’s amazing to watch her work. Relationships are the backbone of
everything she does. She treats everyone she meets with the same curiosity
about who they are and desire to help them get what they need, from Board
Members to committee members to staff to anyone who visits or even calls in to
the Foundation. Not only does she exemplify this focus in everything she does,
but she’ll be quick to tell you how important it is. I feel so privileged to
watch this style of leadership, to see how others respond to it, how loyal they
are and how highly they think of her. I’m taking constant notes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But I have to say the highlight of the luncheon was the
children. They honored a group of kids who thought up ways to give back to
those less fortunate. Some of these children couldn’t have been older than
5-years-old, and the oldest was 14, a girl named Allison who got cancer at age
7, fought through it and came out the other side a philanthropist. When she was
going through chemo (which she hated so much she called it the “Stink Bug”), she
wanted to get a dog. Her parents said “no,” thinking that having a new animal
on top of everything else would be too stressful for her. Eventually, they
relented, and the puppy Allison adopted had the opposite effect. Allison now
had a best friend to “help (her) feel better and get (her) through the yucky
stuff.” So Allison took up the charge to make sure that other lonely children
in the hospital could experience this same upliftment. She called this <a href="http://www.rmchildren.org/programs/stink-bug-project/">The StinkBug Project</a>, and through the baking and selling dog cookies at farmers’
markets, she has raised over $80,000 to help connect sick children with dogs.<br />
<br />
When she finished telling her story, I was on my feet, hands
clapping and eyes tearing. I felt a rush of inspiration at seeing Allison and
the other children being better people, seeing them raise the bar for a room
full of philanthropists. It made me want to rush home to Elo and Dash and tell
them: Be the best you can be. Raise the bar for yourself. Connect with
those around you and give what you have to offer, give it to everyone you can.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-67373356083321429542014-11-08T05:35:00.000-08:002014-11-15T05:50:53.122-08:00Just the facts, Ma'am<div class="MsoNormal">
Wow. Okay, so it has been a whirlwind month-and-a-half since leaving the American Diabetes Association and embarking on this new journey of commitment to writing. Five
weeks have been a blur of learning the ropes at Rose Community Foundation (can
I mention how privileged I feel to be a part of that team? They are awesome!)
while focusing all other time on writing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, so my new goal here is to post more frequently with
shorter posts. Here goes. Just the facts, ma’am:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Writing updates:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Wishing World</i>:
I’m still waiting to hear from Tor Books about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Wishing World</i>, so that is a constant source of “possible
excitement” in the background of weeks spent working diligently on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fairmist</i>. Keeping fingers crossed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fairmist</i>: So close
now! I spent the last week combing through for typos and for what my -amazing,
stupendous, insanely talented creative editor- friend Liana calls “adding the
flourishes”. Also, a big round of kudos goes out to Aaron Brown and Chris
Mandeville for NOT doing what I asked them to do (i.e. just go through the book
for typos). Their subsequent raving about the essence of the story and bulldog
tenacity about the areas that could be improved turned into a round of edits
that brought <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fairmist</i> to final
completion. Thank you! This round really made me realize that I need to work
with an editor constantly (hint, Liana. Hint hint). I’m getting better, but editing
is not my strong suit.<br />
<br />
So today I’m working on final typos, and then delving into
website creation. So many moving parts! When I have a finalized date for
release into the world, I will post it here. It’s soon! So soon!</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-86553072513013247482014-09-06T08:12:00.000-07:002015-01-24T07:30:40.550-08:00Blogging the Jump<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I had a spirited conversation with a friend and work
colleague of mine, Dean, on Friday. I told him I was leaving the ADA with the
intention of turning the best of my creativity toward writing and following my
lifelong passion.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been 13 years in the diabetes nonprofit world. I
originally took a temp job at JDRF to pay the bills while I wrote, because I didn’t
just want “a day job” while I worked on my novels. I wanted my
40-hours-per-week to mean something. I wanted to help. My decade-and-a-half in
the nonprofit world has been everything I hoped and more. It has expanded my
horizons and fed me to make life better for those who live with the constant
siege of diabetes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had an unexpected talent for the work, so I got promoted.
And as my responsibilities grew, as I went from Administrative Assistant to Event
Coordinator to Manager to Associate Director to Director, I saw the window to
follow my other passion shrinking. My concentration on writing started to come
in fits and gasps. I began to wake up in the middle of the night wondering who
I was: A nonprofit leader? Or a writer?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These days, I have a sterling career in nonprofit. This is a
job people go to college specifically for, and I have been afforded amazing
opportunities to learn and grow. It is one of the worthiest callings in the job
market. Fighting to make sure those who need assistance get assistance. How
could I let it go?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s been an emotional wrestling match. My uncertainty has
been epic. I’ve been struggling for a year and a half. And in the last six
months, with this tying up my mind, I wrote nothing of note. In the last two
months, I started losing sleep, waking up in the middle of the night with a
clench in my belly, with an honest-to-heart-attack constriction in my chest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not so good. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked desperately for the solution. I am the main
financial support for my family. I can’t just up and quit with no income. If
only a $1M advance would come through for Wishing World, then all my problems
would be solved, right?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But as I talked with Dean, I realized that the point isn’t the
money. $1M won’t give me more commitment to my calling. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The point is living my life. MY life. Not the life I think I
should have. Not the life I’m talented enough to achieve. My life. Putting my
all into that unique bit of myself that I have to give to the people around me.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are going to be rocky roads no matter which way I turn.
But if I’m standing in the center of myself, pointing my light toward what
excites me, problems are just challenges I can’t wait to face. Walls are engaging
projects on the horizon. Setbacks only point out how hard I’m fighting for what
I love.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My friend Bridget, who made a similar jump some years back
with nothing but a few dollars and a dream told me this: She said that the
sacrifices she and her husband made to make their business thrive were –and
still are– badges of honor. “We can’t afford two nice cars. Yet.” she said. “So
I drive our kids in our one nice car and my husband drives the beater. It’s
what we can afford on our budget. It’s old, with cigarette burns in the seat
from the previous owner, and every time I look at them, instead of getting
depressed about how I’d love a better car, it reminds me of our dream, our passion
to succeed. It drives me forward.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Me, I think of my kids. What if I deprive them of the life
they deserve by stepping back from the higher yearly wage? What if they don’t
get to go to the college they deserve because I couldn’t make any money off my
writing?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But as Dean and I talked, I realized that money is not the
best of what I can give my children. More than money, I can fill them with the certainty
that they should follow their dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
want them to at least try.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I’m going
to show them how.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t see the end of all paths. Hell, most of the time I
can’t see further than two feet in front of me. But I feel the opportunities to
let my writing move to the next step all around me. What will I show my children
if I walk away from those opportunities because I am afraid?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m ready. This is the adventure, and if you are interested in
following it with me, I will chronicle it here. I will take my shot and write
down what happens, success or failure.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-89556275565826789532014-09-03T05:12:00.000-07:002014-09-06T08:15:03.225-07:00Appreciating Alive<br />
So I'm taking a job with less pay so I can free up my time and energy to focus more on writing. I’ve been in job transition lately, stuffed into the narrow cone of my frightened thoughts about the future. Will I have enough money? Can I pay for food, the house, the car? Will my children grow up living in cardboard boxes?<br />
<br />
Two nights ago, I watched Gravity. After an hour and half of heart-pounding adrenaline and one impossible situation after another, with the main character finally reaching Earth and reveling in the simple fact that she is alive. Breathing air. Feeling water on her skin, sunlight on her face. She was overcome by the gloriousness of simply being alive.<br />
<br />
The movie made my fears fall away. I sat back and realized that I already have the best of what there is to have on Earth, once I strip away the veils of torture I had laid over myself. I can give this gift to myself every waking moment, if I’m vigilant, by appreciating little things. These days I’m so barraged by the overwhelming stimulus of our society (facebook, Twitter, radio commercials, online articles about which celebrity had a fashion disaster or released naked photos online, the desperation of this political party or that, a billboard telling me I need the new, cool shoes), that it’s sometimes hard to know what to appreciate. What should I like? What is the right thing? But turning my face into the sun and feeling the joy of living right here, right now; it’s a gift. I get to appreciate it, or I can allow fear to make paradise a horror.<br />
<br />
I know there are bad things happening in the world, but there are great things, too. I would love to say “just because I focus on the bad things doesn’t make them any larger or more important than the great things”, except the truth is: it does. I have firsthand experience that it does. My attention creates my world. So I’m determined to create a better world. For myself. As an example for my children to follow. Choosing happiness just because I want to be happy, because I can, if I'm vigilant, because there are so many things to be happy about. I am filled with appreciation and gratitude for the advanced gift I already get.<br />
<br />
I’m alive, and while that admission may seem like the base level of what we get, the least that we can expect, the floor-level platform upon which to pile the really good stuff (fine meals at a restaurant, vacations to exotic locations, a sexy romantic night, a trip to Disneyland) I am happy to say in this moment of realization: It’s the very most of what we get. It’s the joy at the center of it all.
Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-25153130497497525122012-01-02T06:45:00.000-08:002014-09-06T08:15:19.311-07:00Happy New YearAs most people know, I've been working hard at the American Diabetes Association all year, not taking too much time off except our wonderful New Orleans trip in September, so it was nice to get a break. Today is my last day of a two week break, and I'm ready to settle back into my rhythm, get some writing done, put the final touches on The Lost Whisper (the new title for Fairmist) and finally send it off to Donald.<br />
<br />
As for vacation, the family and I went west for a big Fahnestock Christmas reunion. We had five generations of Fahnestocks in the room, from my 97-year-old grandfather and 93-year-old grandmother to the 5-month-old son of my neice (does that make him my great nephew or my second nephew?), as well as my brother, sister, mother, father, and step-mother. That group of people had not been together in the same room for almost twenty years.<br />
<br />
Anyway, it was a fantastic time. My favorite highlight was running pell-mell through the park with my children chasing me, just playing a game of "catch the daddy". Sometimes the simple things are the best.<br />
<br />
We drove 18 hours straight through to get there, and 18 hours straight back. My children are now seasoned road trippers, and it is so much fun to take trips with them.<br />
<br />
The family also discovered the game Angry Birds, as Lara and I finally broke down and got smartphones in mid-December: the Samsung Infuse, to be specific (and I highly recommend it. What a great little peice of technology!). So now we can be distracted by emails, chats and calls wherever we are, not to mention getting sucked into a time stealer like Angry Birds. Still, those phones did entertain the children at many moments during the long car ride.<br />
<br />
Last Tuesday returned to our lovely abode, glad to be home. On Saturday we rang in the new year with our wonderful group of friends in Denver and now I am officially ready for 2012 to begin. Happy New Year everyone!Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-17841132857011221742010-02-24T16:16:00.001-08:002010-03-02T06:22:49.857-08:00The FoxSo I’m running again. After the marathon in October of 2009, I told myself I should really take two weeks off from all running to let my body recover. After two weeks, I told myself, “Well, probably a month would be better than two weeks.” As I rolled into December, eating and drinking whatever I wanted, and sitting on the couch I figured I might want to start thinking about possibly cranking the exercise engine up again. But then again, naw! It’s the holidays, right?<br /><br />2009 became 2010. 188 lbs became 198 lbs.<br /><br />So I’m running again. I’m not training for anything, just running, trying to beat that “You’re going to gain 1 pound for every year after college” average. I started with 1.5 miles every other day, worked up to 3 miles every other day, and now I’m doing 5. I usually run up Sherman St., across to Logan and out to I-25 for my 5-mile run, and this morning was no exception. On the way back, instead of taking Sherman, I took Grant Street. I don’t know why. I never take Grant Street, but today I did, and I saw something that forced me to sit down and write this blog, even though I’m late for my dentist’s appointment. Even though that will, in turn, make me late for work.<br /><br />Lara and I have been telling ourselves that we were going to get out of the city for years now. We bought our house, intending to keep it for three years, sell it and get out of Dodge, get back to our roots. Both of us grew up in small towns, and we relish the notion of life in the “countryside”. Our 3 years turned to 5. 5 years turned to 7. We meant to leave, but there has always been a reason to stay, or not a big enough reason to go.<br /><br />My best friend and his wife had the same plan, back when we all arrived in Denver, and our two families were on the same track: Squeeze some money out of the city, then go spend it on living in the country. Their family left two years ago and have been living in the country ever since. Lara and I are still here, still hemming and hawing about where we ought to go, still trying to find the ‘perfect’ place. Still trying to build up ‘enough’ money. Still trying to leave. “Oh no, the housing economy is soft, we have to wait until it gets better to sell the house.” “Oh no, I just got promoted! Let’s build up some of that money and have a bigger cushion.” “Oh no, we just bought a new car. We need to pay it down a little before we leave.” It’s always something. Time and again.<br /><br />I think about this a lot on my runs. Running, for me, is “of the country”, not “of the city”, and it reminds me of running across Florida Mesa when I was young. It reminds me –just a little bit- of nature. <br /><br />About four years ago, right about the time we were supposed to sell the house and leave, I saw a fox during my run. I saw him in a residential neighborhood near I-25. I was astounded. I’d never seen a fox that close before. Two queer things happened at that moment. One, the fox wasn’t afraid of me. Now, I realize that city foxes are much more comfortable with people around, so I could’ve let that pass. But I had a 75-pound hunting dog with me, and the fox didn’t care about that, either. On top of it, Lancelot (the aforementioned dog) didn’t seem to see the fox at all. He made no indication that it was even there. The second queer thing was when I passed the fox and ran on, he followed me at a respectful, non-threatening distance. He did this for three blocks, then sat, watched me, and let me go.<br /><br />It was cool on a number of levels, and I’ve always been fond of foxes. For one, it’s what my name means in old English. Secondly, when we were all having fun picking animal totems in college, the fox was, of course, my totem. So I came to view this fox as a sign that I needed to get out of the city. This wild creature showed up in the middle of Denver, as if to say, “Hey, you and me, we’re both country creatures. We don’t belong here. Let’s get out.”<br /><br />I’ve seen foxes every now and then on my runs since then, over the last four years. I’ve seen as many as three at one time, and I love them. They’re beautiful, sleek, so quiet and graceful. It always elicits that same response. “What am I doing here? I promised myself I would get out, and I’m lingering. What am I doing?” Every time they show up, I think about leaving, but then I finish my run, and I go back to my life. I’ve seen so many now that the effect is fading. Now when I see them, I only have a passing thought about nature, and I smile that there are foxes in Denver. And I think that maybe I belong in the city. Maybe this is where I’m supposed to end up, that I should just get over this crazy notion.<br /><br />So on my run today, I went down Grant street, where I never go, and I slowed, then stopped at a quiet, back-street intersection. Laying near the gutter was a dead fox. My fox. Perfect red fur and bushy tail, and not moving. And he would never move again.<br /><br />Are there signs? Does the Universe really say things without words? I wish I knew for certain.<br /><br />I know that my heart hurts, and there is a voice in the back of my head that keeps whispering.<br /><br />Get me out. Get me out of the city.Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-37483794502896076152010-02-08T06:12:00.001-08:002010-02-27T05:45:01.931-08:00Superbowl ZombiesSo the Colts lost the Superbowl, and I had a dream about zombies. As a general rule, I don’t dream about zombies, or about any other hopeless, horrifying end-of the-world scenarios. I don’t go in for fright as an entertainment. Graduating from constant, hair-raising scares to normalcy isn’t my preferred outcome. In my dreams, the world is steeped in peril, with the golden light of utopia in the distance that one can reach if one is noble and brave enough. And I’m the hero, the protagonist of some grand adventure. I’m stealing a souped-up, six-wheeled car and we’re off to see the Wizard. Seven hooded figures appear out of the shadows to kill me and the poor, foundling waif at my side, and I must use my kung-fu to prevail. That kind of thing.<br /><br />This is, no doubt, why I write fantasy novels, and not horror novels.<br /><br />If one believes that dreams are reflections of our emotional responses to waking activities, then some part of my brain was obviously dejected last night at having my football team sputter and fail. The zombies came and wreaked havoc on the dream nations of the world, reducing cities to rubble, wandering the countryside to catch the unwary traveler and gobble them up. These would be my surface emotions. But my subconscious mind apparently rose up to defend my “there must be a utopia somewhere”, because it was the most pleasant, non-threatening zombie dream a guy could expect to have. The evidence of the zombies’ passing was clear. Deserted streets. Tense moments of silence. Caches of food or weapons to be found for the perceptive survivor.<br /><br />But there wasn’t a single zombie.<br /><br />Instead, I had a man who looked a lot like Pen from Pen & Teller, who traveled around selling government supplied frozen foods that he and his cabal of officials had stockpiled. Veggie burgers. Tater tots. He was the post-apocalyptic lunch truck man, and he implied that the world was going to get right back on its feet as soon as he made a few cycles through the United States and provided frozen foods.<br /><br />Is there a lesson in that?<br /><br />Anyway, the Colts lost and that sucked, but the Saints won, and if I had to lose to any team in the NFL, I’m glad it was them. They worked hard, and they earned it.<br /><br />I wonder if they represent the frozen foods?Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-64142667298116093542010-02-06T12:33:00.001-08:002010-02-27T05:45:01.931-08:00Cheating at CivilizationI cheat at Civilization. For those of you who are of the younger generation (oh yes, it hurts to be able to say that), you might not remember Sid Meier’s computer game sensation called Civilization. Or maybe it was only sensational for us gaming geeks. Anyway, for a time in the 1990s, Civilization was THE game, and there were many people who sat in front of the computer for hours, days and in some rare cases even weeks as they nurtured their fledgling empire through the millennia, living from the age spear-chuckers to space-travelers.<br /><br />I played a lot when I was in college. As I have gotten older, I return once in a blue moon to blow off steam. The version I play is Civilization II (or “Civ II”). In this age of iPhones aps and handheld arcades, Civ II is an obsolete computer game in every sense, but it is the only one on my laptop. And as ancient as it is, it is still formidable as a time suck. If I had modern games on my computer, no doubt I would never get anything done. I judiciously steer clear of that trap. <br /><br />So, the object of Civ II is to reach a level of advanced civilization where you can send a spaceship to colonize one of the moons of Jupiter, all the while fending off the other vicious would-be empires in the world. Or, as an alternate objective, you can absorb, subvert or utterly destroy those other cultures, thereby ending the game. Either way works, depending on how blood-thirsty you envision yourself.<br /><br />It’s mostly a maintenance game. There is no schnazzy real-time fighting or lifelike CG action sequences. Success is due to constant, consistent pressure over time, and by getting a jump on the competition. If you’re still dawdling around with chariots and iron working by the time B.C. becomes A.D., you are a ripe fruit from which the other empires will gladly take a big, wet bite.<br /><br />This brings me to the cheating. In the early stages of the game, I will orchestrate the “random” elements of the game to my favor and build twice as many cities as anyone else before I even reach 2000 B.C. Once my cities are larger, I get scientific advances quicker, and soon I have tanks while everyone else is galloping around on horses. The game pretty much goes my way after that.<br /><br />I have gaming friends who consider this blasphemy. I mean, it’s a one-person game. Who am I really cheating? The computer doesn’t care. What could possibly be the point?<br /><br />My answer is: I don’t know.<br /><br />I do know that it’s soothing, and strangely engaging. Somehow, there is a solid satisfaction in beating those little glowing Mongols or Babylonians, poor saps who never had a chance from the start.<br /><br />But why do it? Just for the rush of believing, for a few hours, that you’re as canny as Caesar or as powerful as Alexander? Like fantasy novels, does it take one to a place where they can be someone more exciting? Someone better?<br /><br />What about the other games out there that mimic real life? There are a thousand of them. And in many of them, one is actually doing things one could do for real. Really, why play a “life simulation” game at all? Why spend hours and hours of your life courting fake girls and becoming fake rich when you could go out into the world and court real girls or earn real money? What a lot of wasted energy.<br /><br />But so many people do it. Is it because it’s easy? Controllable? In a life filled with innumerable variables, the fantasy that we could actually control those variables --make them roll our way as though we were “destined for greatness”-- has a vast, intrinsic payoff. And it’s safe. All reward and no sacrifice (aside from the aforementioned time). And since it’s all fantasy anyway, why not fantasize that you’re not cheating, too? Just throw that on the pile with the rest of the faux-truths, yes? Yes, that’s right, I really AM the unconquerable, immortal ruler of the Egyptian empire!<br /><br />Then, of course, one wakes up 36 hours later, buzzing on Blue Sky soda, blind as a mole rat and blearing up at a frowning wife who wants to know why you’re such a waste of space. (Which, under the circumstance, is a difficult question to answer)<br /><br />So why spend so much time in fantasy? Is the real world really that hard? That scary? Have we just become so comfortable that fake-effort and fake-reward are “good enough”? Why risk anything when you have everything you need?<br /><br />It makes me wonder what future civilizations will think of this bizarre behavior…Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-50405881718613902182010-02-05T06:02:00.001-08:002010-02-27T05:45:10.821-08:00The IntersticesSo I have to take breaks between writing books. My wife is very good to me. When I’m in the middle of a writing project --furiously working Monday and Tuesday nights, but saving the weekends for our other social plans-- and suddenly our dinner plans at so-and-so’s house on Sunday are cancelled, I will often give her a wheedling smile and say, “So, um, can I sneak away and write, then?”<br /><br />She will sigh, no doubt thinking that the family could have chosen some other activity besides the dinner, perhaps going to the aquarium, the zoo, the park, the library. After all, our kids are fantastic. They’re up for anything. I’ve taken them out and simply sat on a street corner while they run their scooters up and down the hill, laughing as they zoom down or crying as they crash and skin a knee. Or, in the case of my son, ramming his scooter into the grass hill on purpose, crashing AND laughing. The kids and I have spent entire days inside drawing or wrestling or whatever. As to my wife, anything sounds good except having to entertain the children again by herself, as she has done every day for the past six years. But she’ll sigh, then nod, and off I’ll scurry, closing the door to my office for an hour or ten, depending on how long the inspiration runs.<br /><br />When I’m in the midst of a writing project, it is my top priority with my free time and this is an accepted truth at my house. That is to say, if something has not been scheduled already (my regular kid nights, scheduled family activities, business trips, family trips, family walks, family bike rides, birthday parties, dinner parties, friend parties, football parties or just random “how ya doin’? parties”) and there’s just extra time lying around --which does happen once in a blue moon--, I will try to take it and bring the novel closer to completion. I feel a rip inside every time I do this, a conscious, difficult choice between spending extra time with my family and furthering my dream of being a novelist. Obviously, I could spend every scrap of time I’m not at work with the family. Or I could spend every scrap of that time writing. The former would make me a better father and husband, and my dreams of being a novelist would slowly fade into just another “you know who I ALMOST became” story that I’d tell at those dinner parties. The latter would produce two, maybe three novels a year. My writing skills would sharpen to a keen edge, and when my children turned twenty they would talk to their college friends about how they never knew their father.<br /><br />I strive for a balance. It tears into me every time, making the choice either way --to run away to write or to stay and do family activities. It hurts just a little, because I know what I’m losing on either side whenever I steal time. But the rewards so far are worth it. I do not write three novels a year, but “Daddy nights” are a favorite. The made-up story I tell my children before bed about “Gruffy the Griffin” is always news around the house. My daughter is learning to ride a bicycle because I’m there to teach and help her. I get to draw super-heroes with my son, who is a wickedly good artist for a 3-year-old, and my wife keeps telling me that she loves me --and means it. And I manage to finish a novel every two years or so.<br /><br />So I have to take breaks between writing books and not steal that “extra” time. My wife’s angelic patience is not inexhaustible. But even when I’m pushing swings, or walking along as my daughter strives to master the pedals of her bicycle, I think about the next adventure. Those quiet times fill my mind with climactic explosions of magic, epic swordfights between our hero and the despicable villain who has stolen his power, with tears of longing for our heroine who can never have the man she wants. Those moments of walking and watching my children grow are fertile ground for my imagination. And I sometimes wonder…<br /><br />What if the balance is a necessary thing? What if I could never write the stories I write without these quiet moments of restraint where I watch the world around me?<br /><br />That one makes me smile. It makes me smile all the time.Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-27270771888276780862010-01-31T06:40:00.001-08:002010-02-27T05:45:10.821-08:00Back in the SaddleSo it’s been 11 months since I’ve written a blog entry. Almost a year. When I started this blog in November of 2008, my intention was to write in it all the time. I actually managed to keep that up for four months before the inevitable happened, and I had to stop writing blogs because of lack of time.<br /><br />Now, in my defense I didn’t stop writing altogether. The whole purpose of this blog is to catalogue my journey as a novelist, and as my energy started to go in that direction, my attention to the blog waned. As much fun as I have jotting down my thoughts online, I woke up in March and realized I’d have to focus my efforts if Wildmane was to be published. Up until that point, all I had was fifty pages of rough draft, which I had begun in September of 2008. A half a year for fifty pages. I had to do better than that. After all, while I do wish to be a successful blogger (I mean really, who doesn’t?), I want to be a successful author much more. <br /><br />The fifty pages had already been sent to my agent in January. With some encouraging words, he sent me back to the keyboard to double that before taking it to publishers to find a home.<br /><br />I took a week-long writing sabbatical in May to get me back on track. During the first two days, I roughed out, shaped and polished those 100 pages. My agent was delighted, but the book had changed so much from 50 to 100 pages that he suggested I complete the entire novel before we shopped it around just in case the story underwent a major transformation.<br /><br />Understand that I had been working on the rough draft all along. During those moments when I couldn’t stand to revise a moment longer, I would jump away from the 100 pages and work on new story. So the rough draft was almost 39,000 words before my week-long writing sabbatical, and in the final three-and-a-half days of uninterrupted work, I produced another 40,000 words and finished it, amassing 79,000 words total. It was a whirlwind of happy creation, and I kept imagining what I could do with months of uninterrupted time.<br /><br />But I have a full-time job that becomes insanely busy starting in June, and the summer was looming. I have children whom I love dearly and who want my time. I have a fixer-upper house that cries for me to finish all of the projects I’ve begun. I have dogs to walk, a marathon I had insanely committed to for October, and a wife who very tolerantly puts up with my disappearances into fantasy worlds while waiting for me to hold up my half of our life.<br /><br />To these I returned with a staunch commitment to polish the very (very VERY) rough draft I had created.<br /><br />I hacked away at the draft during those precious Monday and Tuesday writing nights. June, July, and August went by. Work became crazy. We were short staffed and I was juggling three jobs until we could get someone in to fill the positions. My marathon training became crazy. My mornings and half of my Sundays were consumed by hours of pounding the pavement. Monday and Tuesday nights became a sacred moment where I put my frantic energy into molding the story of Mirolah, Medophae and Toryn. September. October. November.<br /><br />Finally, I finished my revisions and after running it past a dozen of my friends, I finally had the draft I wanted. On January 12, 2010, I packed up Wildmane and sent it off to my agent, thrusting myself into the Waiting Game.<br /><br />So now I can take a deep breath and return to my blog for a season. Here’s hoping I can find the time to at least throw up some indications of progress. True, I’ve been gone for almost a year. But hey, in those 11 months, a novel was born.Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7425854860875005785.post-58860047963717650542010-01-31T06:37:00.000-08:002010-02-27T05:44:47.510-08:00The Marathon StoryOctober was quite a month. As many of you know, the Step Out: Walk to Fight Diabetes happened on October 24. We had great weather, a fantastic crowd of 1,500 walkers, the Fab Four Beatles tribute band, the Broncos Cheerleaders, and we raised almost a quarter of a million dollars. Because I work the event and cannot walk the route on walk day, instead of walking I chose to run the Denver Marathon the weekend before, trading 3.1 miles for 26.2.<br /><br />I wanted share with you the story of the 26.2 miles that I ran to support the American Diabetes Association’s mission to prevent and cure diabetes, and to improve the lives of all people affected by diabetes.<br /><br />My wife, Lara, and my kids, Elowyn & Dash, dropped me off at Civic Center Park around 6:15 a.m. The temperature was around 45 degrees, but I warmed quickly once I got moving. I hoped I could run the marathon in under 5 hours. I hoped I could possibly slip in under the 4 and a half hour mark, if I was lucky. My super-stretch goal was 4 hours, but I figured I'd have to suddenly morph into Superman for that to happen.<br /><br />Not knowing my capability, I started at the back of the pack, right by the sign that said “Fast walkers here”. I hoped I would be a bit faster than a fast walker, but what did I know? I didn’t want to get in anyone’s way.<br /><br />Of course, when the race began at 7 a.m., I spent the rest of the next hour trying to get people out of MY way.<br /><br />At that early stage, I paced myself. The biggest key to long distance running for me was making sure I didn’t go too quickly at the start. Still, I found myself constantly passing other runners as we wound through LoDo, the Pepsi Center and Coors Field. <br /><br />An interesting side note: Runners will often buy cheap fleeces & gloves that they can toss to the side of the route (later to be picked up by the Denver Marathon crew and donated to charity). For those of you who were wondering who got my ratty wool gloves, I bequeathed them to the Big Blue Bear outside the Colorado Conventions Center. I hope his hands stay warm this winter.<br /><br />The first 5 miles went uneventfully. I was feeling good, taking my time, not feeling any kind of physical strain at all. At mile 5, I got a glimpse of the first official time clock, which said I was running just over 10 minute miles. That jump started my engine a bit. I knew I could go faster. So, I figured I’d make a quick portalet stop and then increase my pace. <br /><br />After 7 MINUTES OF WAITING IN LINE, I finally got into the portalet. The frustration of standing in line that long weighed on me, and when I burst out of the little plastic room, I flew along the course trying to make up for lost time. I mean, I wasn’t trying to break any records, but I still wanted to do my best, and 7 minutes is an eternity.<br /><br />For the next five miles, I pushed much harder than the first five. I wound through City Park, back along 17th and then down Gilpin St. I never went back to my original calm pace, but I eventually managed to back off my “angry at waiting 7 minutes” pace to something a bit more sane.<br /><br />The hill going into Cheesman Park was steeper than I expected, but I was feeling pretty spry at that point, feeling I could really run faster. Having trained since February and having done my share of long practice runs, I kept that “extra juice” in reserve. The objective is to be happy at mile 23. That’s the hard part. Being happy at mile 11 meant about, well, nothing. So instead, I slowed down a bit.<br /><br />Along the route in Cheesman Park, my friend Lawdon popped out onto the course and ran with me for a while. His appearance did a great deal to bolster my already upbeat mood. Thanks Lawdon! (That being said, I think next time I’ll ask him to pop out and boost my spirits at mile 25.2. THAT was the tough mile).<br /><br />After Cheesman, we headed west to Logan St. and turned south again, where we left the half-marathoners at the turnoff point on 9th Ave. and headed down what I have come to all the “dogged” stretch. It was at this point, about mile 13, that I realized the new shoes I’d bought for the marathon were a bit tight around the front of my right foot. It wasn’t bad, but just a little tight. I figured if I could make 13 miles in them with nary a problem, I would be good for the rest, right?<br /><br />Right? <br /><br />On 7th Ave Parkway, we jogged a mile out to Cook street and a mile back. The street was slanted toward the median the whole way out, and each step put pressure on my tight right shoe. I began to worry, then abruptly put it out of my mind. Thinking about it didn’t help. And since I wasn’t going to stop or get new shoes, there just wasn’t any point.<br /><br />Of course, that’s easier said than done. In two of my practice runs, I had reached a point where it didn’t matter how tough I was (and let’s face it, I’m really not that tough in the first place). The ailing part of my body just stopped working (once, my knee. Once, my calf). I wanted to make sure I didn’t hit that particular wall, so I kept drinking whenever I had a chance and took my Clif Shots every 45 minutes.<br /><br />The 3 miles south to Wash Park went without incident. I finally pulled out my ipod and let the music boost my spirits. The pain in my right foot quieted a little once I got on level ground. I took the reprieve to mentally prepare myself for the trip around Wash Park, which I thought would be the hardest part of the marathon. Not only would I hit the 20-mile mark there (which is reputed to be one of the big “walls” you can expect to hit. There are some who say that the marathon really begins at mile 20), but the route takes you on streets around 85% of the park, and then doubles back on the track inside the park and takes you around it again. Running over almost the same ground had a vaguely “You’re not really getting anywhere” feel to it that I was not looking forward to.<br /><br />Going through mile 19, 20 and 21 was tough, but I was expecting it to be tough, so it didn’t hit me very hard. I grabbed Gatorade and water alternately from the stations, took whatever “Gu” was handed to me, and began to relinquish the tight control of my pace. That is to say, if I felt spry, I ran hard. If I felt winded, I slowed down. Every now and then, during my walk breaks, I would stretch out my calves and hamstrings.<br /><br />When I left Wash Park, I noticed the heat for the first time. The day was cloudless, and the temperature had been rising steadily since we began. 70 degrees was a lot different than 45 degrees, and I kept my mind on drinking water, suddenly worried that I hadn’t been drinking enough. For those of you who’ve ever been dehydrated, you know that when you start to feel the effects, it’s all over. All you can do is stop, put water in your body and wait for it to regain its balance.<br /><br />Just past mile 23, I slowed for my last walk break before the big finish, and I made Big Mistake #1. I stretched my quad. Immediately, my hamstring locked up. It cramped so suddenly and so fiercely that I actually had to punch my calf to force my leg back to the ground. <br /><br />I started running again right away, and I didn’t stretch anything else after that. <br /><br />At this point, I realized that I just had what I had. Stretching wasn’t going to make things better. Even walking wasn’t going to make things better. My shoes weren’t going to get any more comfortable, and I couldn’t ease any of the aches with anything short of stopping, which I refused to do. I just had to make the most of it and eke out those last 3.2 miles.<br /><br />And that’s what I did. I vaguely worried about long-term damage to my right foot as every step sent a stab of pain across the ball of my foot, but I pounded up Santa Fe, which was drab, hot and unfriendly, all asphalt and industrial landscapes.<br /><br />I kept telling myself that 3 miles wasn’t that far. I ate 3 mile distances for breakfast. But I felt my energy starting to wane, and my body was in pain in a dozen places. Still, I tried to push for that little bit extra. I wanted to keep my pace strong. I hadn’t seen a clock in a while, and who knew? Maybe I could even break 4 and a half hours if I was lucky.<br /><br />When I rounded the corner of 13th Avenue and started east toward the Denver Art Museum, I got a shot of relief. I was almost there!<br /><br />“I know where this is,” I thought. “The finish line is just around the corner!”<br /><br />Big Mistake #2.<br /><br />I forgot that the final stretch included a switchback. We had to run past the finish line on Lincoln before doubling back and coming at it again on Broadway. I’d seen this on the map two weeks previous. I even remembered thinking at the time “Oh, that’s going to suck.” But in my heat- and pain-addled brain, I’d forgotten, and it was crushing. <br /><br />I know what you’re saying. “Oh p-shaw! Anyone can run half a mile.” But I was so aching to be done that I felt cheated. Deflated. Oh, those steps, especially uphill as they were, were torturous.<br /><br />Still, I redoubled my efforts, rounded the corner of 16th Ave., got a brief and blessed moment of shade from the tall building, and then came out onto Broadway. Mind you, I could SEE the finish line at this point, but still the only thing I could think was, “Oh man, why is it so far away!”<br /><br />I picked up my pace as much as I could, and as I neared the finish line, I whipped off my hat and sunglasses and took the advice of my friend, John, who runs marathons. He said, “Be sure to smile when you cross the finish line.”<br /><br />I smiled. And they did take a photo. My smile looks like the rictus of death, of course, and nothing like a smile, but hey, I tried!<br /><br />The moment I crossed the finish line, I could barely walk. How I ran that last half mile relatively strong, I’ll never know. But once I stopped, it was as though my body knew it could keel over, and that’s all it wanted to do.<br /><br />Still, all the pain seemed inconsequential at that moment. Walk, stagger or crawl, I didn’t care at this point. Let them bring a stretcher for me if I fell and couldn’t get up. I grabbed a water, chugged it down, grinned and limped all the way to where Lara, Elowyn, Dashiell, my sister-in-law Carla and Aaron (who talked me into this fool marathon in the FIRST place) waited for me, cheering and clapping.<br /><br />For those of you wondering about my time, it was 4 hours, 15 minutes and 25 seconds. I didn’t morph into Superman and get under 4 hours, but I’ll take that time. I’m very happy with it. So happy, in fact, that I don’t feel the need to run another marathon anytime soon.Toddhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15019192461743970205noreply@blogger.com3